Licence to have a child

Yesterday we were called to a home within walking distance from the clinic to observe a seven year old child that presented with definite ASD signs. The mother has not been compliant with taking the child to the clinic which has caused more harm. Once we were done assessing the child, one of our fellow OT students let us know how he felt about the case we had just seen. I have never witnessed my fellow OT student so frustrated and disappointed at the same time, He is of isiZulu upbringing and culture which he said was the reason for his disappointing state. The isiZulu culture lays an immense importance in family which was why he could not understand why the other did not look after her child’s needs by taking him to the clinic. This morning I heard on East Coast Radio, how Darren Maule (The morning DJ) feels about the responsibility we should have for our children.   

 12 March 2014 at 05:15 by Darren Maule - One needs a licence for a car, a dog – even a television set. BUT one does not need a licence to have a child! Lucky, because Darren doesn't think he would have qualified for a child license. He shares his story.

 Sometimes when you look around and observe how some children are brought up – or not, or how some children are brought into a world of suffering and pain, you would really think that perhaps just a little bit of social engineering would not go amiss.

Maybe put some structures in place that would make it just a little harder for any old Tom, Dick or Harry to have children.

The statement “Some people should not be allowed to have children” has been uttered by many an unwilling attendee at a children’s party, but if we were to take this statement really seriously – just how would one go about implementing this type of social engineering?

Would you profile a human being or the couple?

What specific attributes would be considered undesirable?

What kind of list would you make, with what type of questions in order to establish eligibility?

Would you both have to be employed, not have a criminal record, no history of violence, no history of substance abuse and so on?

Then, would you have to go through some sort of legal process to actually apply for the licence and then hope to be granted said a licence?

Social engineering is a slippery slope which the human race has gone down before - lest we forget the Nazi’s and how they tried to eliminate the “undesirable” gene.

We think of Uganda today and how they are trying to criminalize homosexuality. Even the USA, in its sordid past, has tried to whittle out children who were either born Mongoloid or with physical deformities or even considered mentally defective.

The decision back then in America was taken by the State to sterilize “those” children so that they could not breed.

 The concept of social engineering is not a new one. In our relatively modern age, cleansing of undesirables still happens whether it’s Muslim and Christian, Protestant and Catholic, Hutu and Tutsi, Serbs and Croats.

What I find remarkably confusing is that the human race - in its never ending quest to rid itself of those they either don’t like or agree with (and will find a multitude of reasons to motivate the destruction thereof) –  has not thought to rather go to the source instead of waiting for the offending party to grow into the perceived fully fledged antagonist.

I am not saying that it is the right approach.  What I am saying is that I am continually surprised that this species – which has found innumerable, and creative, means of destroying each other - haven’t seriously bandied around the idea of managing our species at the very beginning...when we breed.

I think about this really seriously occasionally and it is a harsh realisation that if I had personally  been put under this type of scrutiny, if I had needed to pass an exam on a “Breeding Eligibility” check list before my daughter was conceived – I really don’t think I would have passed.  I don’t believe I would have qualified to have a child. By no stretch of the imagination was I your model citizen!

The one thing you can’t engineer however is the future.

I suppose one overwhelming and uncontrollable factor is that the person we are before we have a child and the person we become once we have had one is seldom the same person. What we don’t, and can’t, factor in is how one’s life changes when one has a child.

My life changed when I had a child.  I don’t believe anybody who isn’t a parent can even begin to understand the kind of feeling, the emotion, and the sense of responsibility which is almost overwhelming when you bring a life into this world.

I always thought prior to my daughters arrival that I had an understanding of what love – unconditional love – was.  Only when she arrived did I truly understand that I was not even in the ballpark.  I honestly had no idea what true, unmitigated and unconditional love really was.

This realisation was one of the greatest catalysts for change in my own life.  Change within myself to ensure I became a better Father, to make myself a better person and to better myself so I could give my daughter all that she needs in life – such as education, safety, warmth, clothing, food, insurance and medical aid to ensure her future.

 With the arrival of a child – your very own child – and the massive responsibility that comes with this very special privilege, do you actually take these “looking forward to the future” decisions a lot more seriously

 So, in a very roundabout way, what I am trying to say is this: The next time you are in the company of anybody’s unruly children and you think to yourself; “Oh my word, some people really should not be allowed to breed.”

Think again: just imagine how bad they were before they became parents!

We want to know from you - if you need a licence to drive a car, do you think people should get licenses to have kids?

 

Read more on: http://www.ecr.co.za/post/licence-to-have-a-child/