Change...!
The word 'change' is a deep and heavy word that carries with it unique connatations for every individual. To me it means "something has ended and the start of something new is in sight". It is kind of like a transitioning phase...being caught inbetween what has ended and something that has not yet started but has been planned by whom ever to start.
When I first entered OT, we were told that we should be open for change and embrace it because it will cross our paths ever so often. Well, back then I was a real worrior, confident in myself and was ready for any change that would come my way....
...but now, having experienced some more of life, it is not as easy as it is said or thought. Change is stronger than what we are! It hangs heavily in the air, even at this very moment...we are nearing the end of our 5th semester, people are passing on around us, others are bying new cars, getting engaged, having babies, moving jobs or houses...and it goes on and on. The wheel of life.
I found this beautiful poem that resonates with how I feel today...
Do You Ever Stop And Think?
© Jordan Brown
Do you ever stop and think? Just reflect on everything that's happened to you in the last few days. Months. Years.
Do you wonder where all that time went? All those special moments or just the ordinary daily activities that are now only memories. Memories that are unique and the only way you can hold onto them is by replaying them in your mind over and over again, until the details all merge together and you're left with a fuzzy recollection that doesn't seem to fit anymore.
Do you remember the exact time when you started to grow up? When the conversations you had were not about dolls or imaginary friends but about sex, boys and 'How far have you gone'? When you started giggling not because you're covered in mud, but because you remembered the time that a boy kissed you?
Have you ever turned around and suddenly everyone was 3 feet taller, with bigger parts and more curves and you had no idea where it all came from?
Have you ever felt that the closest people to you are also the furthest away? Felt that everything was happening too fast? And even though you didn't want to grow up, you didn't want to be left behind either?
And when his hand is no longer a boy's but a man's, when his touch does not convey safety but lust and when your body betrays you and wants it too, is this when we have grown up? Or is it when we are forced to grow up?
And who tells us when we have grown up? How do we know when we have reached our destination? Do we ever stop growing up or do we continue to just grow in spirit?
And if I can see everyone else making choices, trying new things, growing up, is it selfish for me to want it to stay the same forever?
And if I make my own choices, try different things, slowly growing up, will others notice that I'm changing too? Do they wish that nothing would change just like I do?
And if I'm just scared of losing the people that are close to me, scared of being left behind or leaving others behind, is it okay for me to stand off in the distance just watching these people live their lives, remembering how they are and how they make me feel?
But if I hold onto them too tightly how am I to move on? How am I to grow up and LIVE MY LIFE? How am I to make decisions and take on responsibility if I'm living in the past?
I guess time continues whether you want it to or not, leaving you behind or taking you for the journey of your life.
Do you wonder where all that time went? All those special moments or just the ordinary daily activities that are now only memories. Memories that are unique and the only way you can hold onto them is by replaying them in your mind over and over again, until the details all merge together and you're left with a fuzzy recollection that doesn't seem to fit anymore.
Do you remember the exact time when you started to grow up? When the conversations you had were not about dolls or imaginary friends but about sex, boys and 'How far have you gone'? When you started giggling not because you're covered in mud, but because you remembered the time that a boy kissed you?
Have you ever turned around and suddenly everyone was 3 feet taller, with bigger parts and more curves and you had no idea where it all came from?
Have you ever felt that the closest people to you are also the furthest away? Felt that everything was happening too fast? And even though you didn't want to grow up, you didn't want to be left behind either?
And when his hand is no longer a boy's but a man's, when his touch does not convey safety but lust and when your body betrays you and wants it too, is this when we have grown up? Or is it when we are forced to grow up?
And who tells us when we have grown up? How do we know when we have reached our destination? Do we ever stop growing up or do we continue to just grow in spirit?
And if I can see everyone else making choices, trying new things, growing up, is it selfish for me to want it to stay the same forever?
And if I make my own choices, try different things, slowly growing up, will others notice that I'm changing too? Do they wish that nothing would change just like I do?
And if I'm just scared of losing the people that are close to me, scared of being left behind or leaving others behind, is it okay for me to stand off in the distance just watching these people live their lives, remembering how they are and how they make me feel?
But if I hold onto them too tightly how am I to move on? How am I to grow up and LIVE MY LIFE? How am I to make decisions and take on responsibility if I'm living in the past?
I guess time continues whether you want it to or not, leaving you behind or taking you for the journey of your life.
Source: Do You Ever Stop And Think?, Change Poem http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/do-you-ever-stop-and-think#ixzz2WSrm93uC
www.FamilyFriendPoems.com
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